The UberRandom Slayers Fanfiction! :D
by Zelkiiro
Summary: Sucky title, I know, but this is my first fanfiction in 3 years. Just read it, please? :3


**The Uber-Random Slayers Fanfiction! Ohnoes!**

Disukureima: I do not own the **Slayers** series and/or anything else that might be mentioned as I write this story on the spot with no previous planning, thought, and/or ideas, and considering this is my first fanfiction in 3 or so years, you KNOW it's gonna suck! What you shall read has come straight from my brain onto WordPerfect to infect your mind. Anyway, here we go!

**Chapter 1:**

Nobody saw it coming. It came out of nowhere, rushing through the crowds as confused bystanders looked on. They understood completely what it was they were looking at and what it brought. So did the owners of the local food industries. They had seen phenomena like this before; it was not new to them, but whenever it occurred, they knew that they were in for disaster. They quickly made preparations to seal off all the exits to their buildings, gathering planks and nails to board the doors shut, but before they could finish, a sharp, piercing noise rang throughout the confused atmosphere of the city, sending shock and terror into the hearts of those who were near...

"Alright, we're gonna get some food!" screamed a certain red-haired sorceress, followed by her companions: a blond swordsman, who seemed to be as enthusiastic as his young partner; a silver-haired man, who was more focused on hiding his appearance from the crowds than in getting a meal; and a young priestess, who was ushering the silver-haired man into hurrying to catch up with the others as they ran into a restaurant that was advertising its beef roast stew to be the greatest thing on Cephied's green earth.

"If we don't hurry, Mr. Zelgadis, then the others will begin without us!" the young priestess shouted, prancing around Zelgadis with the impatience of a 3-year old with a rash. Zelgadis gave her a testy, condescending look, though it was hard to tell through his hood and mask.

"Honestly, Amelia, do you think they would wait for us even if we were right beside them? You know how Lina and Gourry are." As they entered the restaurant, Zelgadis looked towards the hostess and said, "We're with the rambunctious pair. You know them." The hostess gave them a nod, obviously knowing who they were, and told them to follow her to their seats. When Zelgadis and Amelia took their seats next to Lina and Gourry, the waitress nervously asked what they wanted to order, knowing that she'll need to write quickly.

"I'll 'ake everyfing, incluh'ing double por'yons of your bee roh ew!" said Lina, who was already helping herself to the dinner rolls, making it incredibly obvious as to why her speech seemed to be another language entirely and continued to make specifications to her order, half of which were unintelligible. The waitress had been writing fervently, but when she stopped to say "Yes, ma'am!" and "Of course!", it only made things more difficult. Praying she got her order right, she looked to Gourry with a nervous "What will you have, sir?".

"Hmm..." Gourry contemplated. It was quite obvious that he was having a hard time reading the menu, even though the most difficult words on it were "delicious" and "entree". With a deep "Hmm..." he looked up, pointed to Lina and said, "I'll have what she's having." Of course, this wasn't of any solace to the waitress. "Great," she thought. "If I don't get the order right, I'll have two nutjobs on my back." Fortunately for her, Zelgadis' and Amelia's orders were much simpler. "Coffee, no cream," ordered Zelgadis. "I'll have a bowl of your beef roast stew," ordered Amelia.

Feeling relieved, the waitress bowed and told them their meals would arrive shortly. "Yer damn right, it'll be short!" grumbled Lina. "I'm so hungry. Why didn't we stop at the last town!" she screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Wiping the blood off his ears, due to his increased hearing, Zelgadis told her, "We did. Don't you remember? You threatened to incinerate the cook as well as his establishment because he brought you medium well steak instead of medium rare. We were _chased_ out."Lina took this to mind, nodded a few times, and looked him straight in the eye. "I don't recall it being like _that_, now. I remember getting into a civilized argument with the cook and he politely asked us to leave."

Finishing off a dinner roll, Gourry sighed. "They don't kindly ask you to leave with pitchforks, Lina. At least, I don't think they were being kind." He scratched his head, having just confused himself. Amelia was about to say something when they all heard a FWOOSH coming from the entrance of the restaurant. There, clothed in a dark mantle and pants with a light-colored tunic, stood a priest with staff in hand. "Ahh, yes, your grand escape from Zalfinias (the aforementioned town; they are currently in the town of Steris) was quite a sight to behold, Miss Lina." He walked over to them, with disdainful response from the group.

"What do you want now, Xellos?" sighed Lina, obviously not glad at all to see their priestly stalker. He raised his index finger and said cheerily, "Why, I'm only here to ask a favor of you." Lina gave him a shifty look. "Well, what kind of favor is it?" A grin spread across Xellos' face. "Well, you see, that is--" Zelgadis interrupted him. "Is what, now?" They all looked at Xellos with anticipation, as if the words he was about to say would either grant them access to fame and glory or their death sentence. They suspected the latter.

If it were possible to smile even larger, Xellos managed it. He then said, "Something you'll have to wait until Chapter 2 to find out:D" They all groaned and sat down, since the anticipation had prompted them to stand. "You mean we have to wait!" exclaimed Amelia. "So it seems," muttered Zelgadis. "We should have seen this coming."

Indeed, you should have, Zel! Be sure to stay tuned for Chapter 2, whenever I feel like writing it!


End file.
